Lori Walsh: If you're feeling a little more anxiety than normal due to the COVID-19 pandemic and the way it has disrupted your life, well you're definitely not alone. Emilia Flint is associate professor of psychology at Black Hill State University and she's joining us today with some tips to help us cultivate calm in our lives during the crisis. Emilia, welcome. Thanks for being here.
Emilia Flint: Thank you for having me, Laurie.
Lori Walsh: All right. Where do you want to begin? Let's start with this, how does it manifest? Because some people are able to say, I'm anxious, I'm worried, I'm upset, I'm in tears. Other people are just angry, being unkind, overreacting to certain things, under-reacting to other things. How do we recognize anxiety in our lives through our behavior is my question?
Emilia Flint: Great question. I would say some of the first signs actually manifest themselves physically and so if you notice that your heart rate is starting to get up there, you might have some sweaty palms or kind of a queasy feeling and then suddenly your mind is racing at 90 miles an hour or so. Those are some pretty intense signs that you're starting to feel anxiety and sometimes that does turn towards anger, frustration.
Lori Walsh: And taking it out on other people or on yourself and some behaviors that are sort of self destructive. What behaviors should you kind of be watching for? So what I'm hearing you say is at first focus on the feeling, how does this feel in your body right now? Did I get that right?
Emilia Flint: That is correct, yes. And then the second, the behaviors that typically follow. Sometimes you're acting outside of your character as I call it, and so you might have a shorter fuse than normal, so you're snapping at the people that you love. That's kind of a key indicator of a high anxiety, high frustration, high anger kind of a scenario.
Lori Walsh: All right, so let's talk about why this is all happening. It's maybe a little too easy to say it's happening because of coronavirus. What is happening in our daily lives and how they're changing so quickly that's causing this surge of anxiety for so many people.
Emilia Flint: Sure. Great question. It's the abrupt change that we are experiencing that is so not normal for us. We didn't plan for this. It didn't come on our schedule in any way, shape or form. And so as a result, this abrupt change does create intense anxiety for each and every single one of us. And so the best advice that I can give as to kind of return to as much as normal as is possible for you right now. And that means kind of focusing on the things that are within your control. A case in point, get up at the normal time that you would get up if you usually fix lunch for your kids, still pack their lunch, put it in the fridge and then grab it out at lunchtime. You know, shower, bathe, do all these self care things as well. Eat healthy, maintain a regular schedule, tuck your kids in at night, read storybooks those kinds of things that you already were normally doing. Keep doing those things to make life as normal as is possible with this new normal that we're all trying to adapt to at this point in time.
Lori Walsh: Tell me a little bit about, so self care is important, routine is important, especially for kids, but really for all of us, I think that's a great tip. When you feel that failing, something happens, you hear something on the news or you're trying to work from home and your kid comes and throws themselves down on the table and starts crying and you feel that anxiety. Are there things you can do immediately to sort of just feel that feeling and experience it? Notice it, and then what?
Emilia Flint: Yeah, so what's you're talking about there Lori, is mindfulness practices, which I think are super important and especially in times of high stress. So a couple of things that you can do right in that moment is kind of ground yourself. Notice five things in the room as you just look around and that can even be sounds or smells, colors, textures that help you to stay in present moments. And while there focusing on I am healthy right now, I have sufficient food for today. Those are all great things to kind of do, to ground yourself in that moment. And then in so doing, if your child is having that said, temper tantrum right now, that you are grounded in the moment in the here and now you can take better care of that child. Hey, what is it that you need right now? Use your words to express what you're feeling and I can try to help you understand what it is that you need.
Lori Walsh: What are you hearing from patients that you treat from family and friends? What are some of the things that are bubbling up for them that they're struggling with right now? What do you hear?
Emilia Flint: Goodness gracious. That's an excellent question. Lori. The hopelessness kind of has fed in as a general theme. So it was the initial anxiety and sort of the surprise element and the factor around that, but now as this has kind of progressed social distancing has sort of become the new norm here within the last week. This is starting in on week two for kids being home from school and being homeschooled or electronically schooled and so now what we're seeing is the information or news out there about the markets for example, or job loss is kind of setting in as a reality for some, and so with that comes that hopelessness.
And some of the first key signs for hopelessness are what I call people who, "yes, but..." And so hopeful people will turn conversations around right now. I'm smiling as I think about some of the hopeful conversations I've had recently with some of my friends and family talking about summer plans, talking about celebration of anniversaries, talking about college football this fall or NFL or things like that. So somebody who's experiencing hopelessness, we'll try to turn that conversation from, "Hey, yay, go chiefs," or whatever their favorite football team is into, "yes, but we don't know if we're going to have an NFL season," or something to that effect. And so if you catch yourself saying yes, but in what is supposed to, or is intended to be a hopeful conversation, that is an early warning sign towards hopelessness. And there are several great resources out there that you can reach out to, to express and kind of get help if that is you.
Lori Walsh: All right. Let's talk a little bit about, I know I'm getting just a lot, a lot of phone calls from family who just want to see how I am today, which is a wonderful thing, but I also need a break from talk... I'm like, I just want to find out how the kids are and how you feeling and what's the weather like, but everybody wants to talk about it. Clearly, in my job I spend the entire day talking about it, the entire off day reading about it and being updated and trying to figure out what is the next question that I can ask to move the conversation forward and maybe save someone's life. When do you unplug? When do you turn away from all the news and take a deep breath? How often do you need to do that?
Emilia Flint: Oh, that's an excellent question. I would say definitely use of media in the morning and in the evening time. Just a quick check in allowing yourself to turn on the news so that you can get the facts and get the information, you know, 15 minutes to a half an hour in the morning and then in the evening time is completely sufficient enough and then throughout the day using that media to connect with other people rather than continuously check in online. Again, at first the new seem to be changing about this virus every single day and so it felt like we had to continue to attach ourselves to the latest information, but now that we're just kind of coasting, it's OK to shut it off and to take those deep breaths and to disconnect.
In particular for someone like you, Lori, who is covering this all day long, going home and giving yourself permission to not listen at all to any of the news is perfectly fine. For those healthcare workers out there, those mental health care workers as well as they spend their time right now really caring for others then doing what is best for them in the evening as far as self care is concerned is great. Whether that looks like just putting on a kettle for hot tea, putting on a good feeling movie. Something to that effect in order to disconnect is completely okay and actually recommended.
Lori Walsh: Yeah, we all take a deep breath and realize that one of the things that's always very useful for me too Amelia, is there's certain things you can't control. We want the information, we want to do the math of what's the hospital surge capacity, at the end of the day there's things you can control, you can wash your hands, you can establish routine for your family, you can try as much as you can to eat healthy. You can be prepared, but there are certain things that are just completely beyond your control at some point. And that's okay too. Yeah?
Emilia Flint: Exactly. Being okay with the things that are outside of your control and trusting that those who have it within their control to make those changes will, and you will learn about that as time progresses.
Lori Walsh: Yeah. Emilia Flint, thank you so much for your time today. We really appreciate it. Stop by anytime and it will help people walk through some gratitude practices, mindfulness practices, and maybe some routine building in the future. That would be great. Thanks.
Emilia Flint: Fantastic. Thank you, Laurie.